why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
