If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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