It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
