I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
