3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
