i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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