He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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