there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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