That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
