i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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