I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
