return my video game
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
