he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
