He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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