doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My dick has a subreddit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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