Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
