I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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