I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
