Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
