You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
