Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize