She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
