Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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