so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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