Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did I show you my penis last night?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
