ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
