so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
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Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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