I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need water and some morals
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
