I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
