hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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