Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
