If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
