It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
