Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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