its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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