I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
