i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize