I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize