You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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