Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
