So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
