Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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