The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize