I think scott just propositioned me for sex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
