he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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