I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
