I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
