Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
