People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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