I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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