"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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