Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
