tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They have beer where we have blood.
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