how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize