i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize