HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I didn't notice because vodka
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
