he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
