just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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