But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
