We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
