Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
