you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
