After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize