see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
honey bunches of taint.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
