Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
