Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
